The more I live the more I realize that something completely unexpected is usually around the corner when it comes to your state of mind. Sheer confidence, total despair, absolute faith and complete boredom can come from nothing, something and anything. These feelings drive everything and they are possibly never our control. Feelings are illogical, reality confusing and your emotions may rarely match up to your day's events.
Our minds and psyches are so incredibly complex. I don't think we have a clue as to what is affecting us at any given moment. Our past, our families, our fears, insecurities and dreams propel us more than we realize. The key is to run towards these dynamics. When you cry, cry hard, seek answers and don't spend time trying to stop the tears. When you laugh, chuckle deeply in your gut like it's the last time you will. When you find someone that fills your soul and makes you better, tell them how much you care and don't let go. When you need help, make the call to the friend that you know will drop everything to be with you and make your day a little better.
I'm not sure what the point of this post is, but I enjoyed writing it and it's what my life is like right now. Despite my "8" nature, I'm out of control, hopefully in a good way, and I am trying to run towards the results of that and allow the fullness of who I am and who God is to shape me, without fear. Well not much fear anyways.
3 comments:
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Thanks for writing this.
OK you pushed my enneagram button. First, if I or anyone else think you are an EIGHT, it don't mean you are an EIGHT. I think it is important for folk to work out who they are and own it for themselves. Next, if you are an EIGHT then I might have a way to help you understand your confusion over the point in this message.
-- Yes, EIGHT's need control, it is the water they swim in. As a gut/hand type you are grounded in the firmness of life. Hands, to work well, need to be strong and in control. Do not apologize for wanting control; hands can do nothing without it. However, the heart - emotions - are a difficult things for gut types. The heart is soft and easily hurt and pliable and exposed and all the stuff that is the antithesis of control.
Under stress gut types go to the mind in order to figure out what they can do to get back into control. At peace gut types can open up, let go, trust, have faith, and thus can take their hands off their heart and thus allow it to feel. This is what many EIGHTs I have known long for.
So yes, when you cry cry, and when you laugh laugh. Eights are often rewarded when they let go and allow themselves to be led by their heart.
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